So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
