i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize