oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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