these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
