This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
