What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
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Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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