it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
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I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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