My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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