32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
