she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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