He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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