Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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