Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
