Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
