You work out of a Hotel?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
