I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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