I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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