I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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