I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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