she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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