you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
