maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
