i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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