you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
