What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize