I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
