why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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