"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
