the condom got lost in my hair
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
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He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
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we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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