I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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