She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
