Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
