did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
someone owes me an orgasm
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
