distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We are two peas in an std pod
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
