Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
