I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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