That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
