When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
