You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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