Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
