I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize