i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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