Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
