the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
