I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
