I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize