New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
