we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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