Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
