Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
