Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
