i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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