a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
