I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
