thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
