I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
In other news, I just burned my penis
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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