stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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