You're so nebulous sometimes
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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