Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Welp...herpes.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
