lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
