We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
