We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
