So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
