Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
