he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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