Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
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We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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