I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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