just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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