Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
